Today is February 6, 2014. I feel good today. A lot has happened since last I logged in. I got married Jan. 4 to the most wonderful man. He is my soul mate and a great man. I love him dearly. He doesn't care about my MS. He helps when he can, like rubbing, my legs and feet. He is such a good person and I love him very much. As for my MS, I have been alright. Quit going to the pain management Dr. because they never really lasted long enough. Plus I feel better...except that I haven't had my medicine in almost 3 weeks because of the stupid insurance. Still waiting, still talking to the insurance company, they can kiss my ass right now. I am so tired of fighting with them. Oh well, right now I am good. I still have my aches and pains, but whats new. Still use my cane, and still have balance issues, but I am okay with everything...so I will write more later.

Wow, what a difference

Wow what a difference a little pill will do. I am not going to my Pain Management Dr. I have been taking a new pill/drug named Ampyria. They call it the walking pill...and it has been helping. Or its mind over matter and I feel the same but my mind is saying its working... whatever I feel  so much better. Still have good and bad days...but alot less bad days....not using the cane as much.
 It's the end of March, almost the first. Things are looking up.More later this computer is acting up so I will write more when I get home...its a Good Day!!

Depressed

Today I am depressed. Lonely. Aching. In pain. I go see my pain management doctor tomorrow. Maybe he can prescribe something...anything. I feel like crying today...I am trying to stay in a good mood...but nothing helps. I think I am going home early today...no motivation, no desire to do anything. Brain is foggy and tired and I think even it hurts. I tried to stay positive for most of the day...like they say everyday is different. Maybe tomorrow will be better...we shall see won't we....

Tuesday

Well it almost time to go home from work. My legs are burning and aching. My neck hurts. But hey I stayed at work all day. I am trying really hard to not think about it...but when you ache you can't stop. I always try to tell myself tomorrow is another day and maybe it will be better.
Thursday I go to my pain mangement Doctor...and try and figure something out. Then next week I see my MS Doctor. What fun? Here try this pill, you can't do that one, how about this one. Or narcotic drugs won't help you try this...and still nothing works...or really helps. I always go back to my usual...Bayer Back and Body. Only thing that sometimes takes the edge off and doesn't make me sleeply durning the day. Okay I have wasted enough time I am going to clean up and go home....Tomorrow will be a better day!!! (fingers crossed) Till next time.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is over and the Christmas rush has started. I had 4 days off and did really nothing. Very depressing. I wanted to do so much and nothing really got done. Now it is Sunday and I need to take my shot. I really need  to do something...kinda depressed. No one really understands. I feel so lonely. But there is really nothing I can do about it. My daughter has her own life now. Like I said no one really understands. But this has been my life for the last  few years. Men don't want to take this on...oh well...more later.

Another Day, Another Pain

There has got to be something that can help without making me sleeping. Quit taking the Vicodin for awhile it just made be feel crappy. Lyrica helped a little but then gave me headaches. The aspirin started upsetting my stomach....really...what is there. This weekend wasn't too bad until I walked all over the stores. kinda took a rest Sunday. Today I am at work and my legs feel cold and ache, and my feet are cold and/or have a burning sensation, and are tingling. My back I have given up on....I try to stay in a positive mood but sometimes I just want to cry out. But I can't...Sometimes if I could just stay in bed in my house and never get up that would be great. Everybody leave me alone...but that isn't going to help...oh well I must endure it and continue...more to come...

I have MS

I have Multiple Sclerosis. Multiple Sclerosis...what a name. What do you do when a Dr. says you have this disease. You cry, you feel self-pity, you ask why then you suck it up and learn to live with it. I never wanted anybody to know or care. I don't like pity. People don't understand what its like to have chronic pain everyday. How do you explain something that isn't visable to the naked eye. Sometimes its your headaches, next day your neck. Then your back, legs...only thing that doesn't hurt is your hair. Of course your hair looks like hell...
Anyway I was diagnoised in 2004, probably should have been diagnoised earlier but this damn disease is crazy.
I had weakness on my left side, double vision, no balance, aching, numbness all over. And to top it off sick to my stomach. Went to the ER but they couldn't do anything until I saw the Neurologist. Had an appointment in 2 days. So I laid around like a vegetable for two more days. Already been off work 1 week...Dr. says I think or I am pretty sure you have MS. All I could say was "you think". I just hoped they could do something to make me feel human again. So they did. Gave me Prednisone and then for 3 days, 1 hour a day, I was given an IV of steroids. Amazely it worked...I could see again, the numbness finally went away, balance was still unsure.And I wasn't sick to my stomach anymore. But the steriods made be balloon up like a Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon.
Oh well I was kinda back to normal, I eventually had to start using a cane, because my balance still hasn't or isn't what it use to be. Had 2 more episodes since, or exacerbations.
The fun of having a disease no really understands, no cure, some relief...lately just a lot of pain.